


Impenetrable Bond

by madam_minnie



Category: Harry Potter - Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-25
Updated: 2007-07-25
Packaged: 2017-10-03 11:38:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madam_minnie/pseuds/madam_minnie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the bonds of love, all things are possible.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Impenetrable Bond

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [siriusisnotdead challenge](http://community.livejournal.com/siriusisnotdead/). Thanks to oldenuf2nb and wolfiekins for your support and guidance on this fic. Assumes that Remus was born in 1958 based on the Lexicon's assumption that he was born between 1958-1960 and attended Hogwarts between 1969-1976: [Remus Lupin](http://www.hp-lexicon.org/wizards/lupin.html). Moon phases based on the [US Naval Observatory Astronomical Applications Department](http://aa.usno.navy.mil/cgi-bin/aa_moonphases.pl?year=1969&ZZZ=END).

_31 March 1999_

The streets were eerily quiet and Remus was glad of it. The Ministry's new scare-tactics had meant enacting a curfew on all wizarding towns to 'protect the fine citizens from being caught unawares in the streets where those of ill-intent could hurt them.' The Ministry posters, with Rufus Scrimgeour's lionesque countenance, spoke these words over and over as the werewolf walked past a deserted shop in Diagon Alley.

His feet carried him toward the Ministry, impulsively. His feet always seemed to know just where to go.

~*~

_1 September 1969 – Year 1_

The hustle and bustle of the travellers at King's Cross made it difficult for the waif-like boy to push his cart unaided just four days past the Full Moon but his feet carried him nonetheless. His father offered to help him but Remus had refused on principle. He was a young man now, eleven years old* and had seen more horror and destruction in his young life than any of the other children now running to catch the shiny red and black Hogwarts Express. It was important to him to do this on his own and the elder Lupin allowed him the lead his son needed.

Once at the platform, the young lycanthrope gathered his threadbare rucksack, his one suitcase and checked his pocket for the wand his father had purchased for him just two days before. With a nod toward his Dad, he followed the other children onto the train, his head down, trying for the entire world, to remain hidden in the shadows. His feet carried him toward the small compartment near the back of the train and sliding the door open, he laid eyes, for the first time, on one Sirius Black.

~*~

_1 September 1970 – Year 2_

Remus was energised. The Full Moon was weeks away and he would soon be returning to Hogwarts to Professor Dumbledore, his Defence classes and his best mates. He was eager to see Sirius again and this year, he just knew, was going to be more exciting than his first. They would no longer be ickle firsties and he had been able to keep his secret without feeling guilty as he often did, for lying to his friends about how 'sickly' he was.

Platform 9 ¾ was as busy as it had been just months before when he and his mates had promised to owl each other during the long summer apart. The camaraderie he'd had with them from their first meeting had only grown throughout the school year and though he worried about the pranks Sirius and James would get up to, he secretly enjoyed seeing just how far they would get before the Headmaster was made aware of their antics. With his mates, he could run free. His feet seemed to carry him along at a quicker pace than they had in the past, but always, they carried him toward his best mates.

~*~

_1 September 1971 – Year 3_

He knew he would be outed. The transformation had been a difficult one and Sirius would not let the explanation be. The Headmaster had covered many of the bruises on his arms but Sirius had seen. He had seen Madam Pomfrey healing the unmistakeable claw marks to his side. He had not meant to skip the last meals before being led down the tunnel to the shack, but he had to complete the final essay for Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall was sympathetic but he did not want her pity. He wanted top marks. His marks arrived two weeks after Sirius' owl with the short missive attached. 'I know.' Those two words took every ounce of happiness away from the top marks owl Professor McGonagall had sent.

The boys were rambunctious as they approached the train; all but Sirius. Sirius, who could not meet his gaze, remained quiet. Remus nodded and smiled as James spoke animatedly of his new Cleansweep broomstick. The young Chaser spent more time strategizing Quidditch moves than he did studying, completely oblivious to the world around him. Peter stood beside the bespectacled boy, starry-eyed as James continued to talk about the feints he was eager to practice as soon as he reached Hogwarts. Sirius remained still, his cold stare would haunt Remus the entire year. Waving at his father, Remus followed Peter, James and Sirius into the train, his feet following the familiar path behind the group he was certain he would not be a part of for much longer.

~*~

_1 September 1972 – Year 4_

Sirius was a persistent boy. James had said, more than once, throughout the year, that he was like a dog with a bone. After spending more than half of their school year in the library pouring over tomes on lycanthropy, Remus had to agree that Sirius was not only persistent, but also brilliant. In one year, Sirius and James had constructed a giant map of the castle and each night, Sirius would sneak into Remus' bed and ask questions about the boy's 'condition'. His need to understand what Remus went through on a monthly basis bordered on obsession and on more than one occasion, Remus found himself looking over his shoulder to see if he was being followed. He could share the general details of his transformations with Sirius, but he could not bear the thought of Sirius seeing him that way. Yet, through the summer, Sirius' obsession with Remus had grown to a level that neither boy truly understood.

When he approached the platform, Remus was unsurprised to see Sirius waiting for him. The sight of the raven-haired boy had brought such a sense of peace and joy to Remus, that for the first time in many years, the lycanthrope was smiling. His father commented on the mirth as he shook the boys' hands and wished them well. Remus had not seen his father smile in as many years as he'd seen that reflection of joy on his own face. Their heads together, not thinking about James or Peter, Remus' feet carried him as they had throughout the previous year-- beside Sirius'.

~*~

_1 September 1973 – Year 5_

James received his Prefect badge just as he had. Sirius was spending the summer with him, Remus had learned via owls exchanged throughout the summer. Sirius' home situation had worsened and Remus wanted more than anything to spend his summer with his best mates, but it was not to be. Three Full Moons would keep the boys apart and for the first time in his life, Remus had felt truly alone. Sirius had suggested several times throughout the previous year that they let the other boys know about his 'condition' but with each mention of it, Remus grew more distant. Sirius decided to leave it alone. Remus was grateful for it.

The boys were standing side-by-side when Remus approached the platform, Sirius towering over James and Peter. His hair brushed his shoulders and his chest and arms appeared to have widened over the summer. Remus wanted to concentrate on his feet, the cart he was pushing, anything but the look in Sirius' face. That look that could mean more than Remus was certain Sirius could mean. Remus' wolf had matured over the summer and thoughts that were less than childlike had awakened a different kind of beast. When Sirius clapped him on the shoulder, draping a long, muscled arm over his shoulders, Remus suppressed a growl. Walking side-by-side, with James and Peter behind them, Remus' feet carried him toward an uncertain future and an awakening. In eleven days, his friends would surprise him. In eleven days, his beast would meet his mate.

~*~

_1 September 1974 – Year 6_

For the first time in his life, Moony had a pack to run with. For eight moons, Remus had been able to transform with his friends by his side. Eight moons of running side-by-side with his mate; eight moons for his beast and his human form to accept the reality that he and Sirius were more than just friends; eight moons to fall in love with Sirius Black… and one moon to shatter his confidence, his soul and his heart. The last full moon before the long summer, had landed Severus Snape in the infirmary along with Remus who in the rage of not being allowed a meal, had suffered at the hands of his beast… at the hands of Moony. Remus spent his summer in his bedroom, leaving only to bathe daily and to lock himself inside the cellar during each of the unforgiving moons.

He would not meet his friends at the platform this year. He would arrive days after the sorting, worn and tired, his body taller but not any stronger than it had been the previous year. His friends would find him in their dormitory, his nose buried in a book, avoiding their glances. Sirius could not bring himself to look him in the eye and more than the horrific thought of becoming a murderer, Remus could not bear the thought of being without Sirius in his life. When Sirius transformed into Padfoot, his snout peeking through Remus' bed-curtains whinging like a lost puppy, Remus opened his arms and welcomed his best friend's apology. With the swipe of that canine tongue on his cheek, the events of the previous year were wiped away and later, entangled in the sheets, their naked, sweaty bodies wrapped around each other, Remus found the ability to forgive. That year, during the Blue Moon of Halloween, the teenagers committed their lives to one another, not understanding the power that bond would have later in life; a power that could transcend time and cheat death.

_"Remus, you have to say it just like it's written!"_

_"Sirius, this sounds like a pledge a child takes when joining the Dragon Scouts," the smaller boy said reading the parchment in his hands. "Where did you find this?"_

_"I wrote it!" Sirius said indignantly. "I didn't have time to make it an eloquent prose, Remus. Besides, it's the thought that counts right?" He asked wrapping his arms around the other boy._

_"And why do we need to be naked when we say this?" Remus asked with a raised brow._

_"Everything's better when we're naked Moony. Now, are we going to do this or not?" Sirius asked pulling Remus into a gentle kiss._

_"Alright. Together then?"_

_Nodding, the boys held the parchment between them as the Blue Moon set in the distance and together repeated the words on the parchment. 'I pledge to you my life and love eternal and forge a bond impenetrable. A bond forged in life that death cannot destroy.'_

~*~

_1 September 1975 – Year 7_

Sirius' inheritance allowed for the boys to spend the summer together. Uncle Alphard had ensured that Sirius' future would be a bright one, away from his poisonous family and with the funds to purchase a place for himself and both Remus and Sirius being of age that summer, they were free to do as they pleased. The four boys were now men and leaving behind their childish antics, they began their last year at Hogwarts with the understanding and knowledge of men. The death toll had risen over the summer and the carnage had struck each of the Marauders in turn. Regulus had befriended Snape, Peter grew distant, and James' parents were attacked and narrowly escaped death. The summer had been spent attending funerals. Only the owl carrying James' Head Boy and Quidditch Captaincy badges held any reason for celebration.

The four men met at the Platform as they had each year previous, the uncertainty of their survival etched firmly in their faces. Peter had grown into his stocky build. James' lithe form had grown several inches over the summer and now stood as tall as Remus. Sirius continued to tower over the three and led the group into their compartment. The year would prove most troubling for him when one night, while wrestling with Regulus near the greenhouses, he would see the mark that would haunt Sirius' dreams for the rest of the school year. His little brother would sell his soul to the Dark Lord that year and the hatred Sirius felt for Severus Snape would grow to an all-consuming loathing. Only the love between he and Remus would keep him sane and when Lily and James announced their engagement at the Leaving Feast that year, Remus and Sirius celebrated their own commitment to each other, alone in the Shrieking Shack.

~*~

_31 March 1999_

He stood before the dais, the veil billowing softly, like a gentle whisper, the voices behind it beckoning him to step closer. He hated those voices. Hated what they represented… a life without Sirius. They had taken his mate from him. They had ripped his life apart and today, Moony would rip the entire portal to shreds.

If his research was right, if the night they committed their lives to each other was accurate and if his lunar charts had been correct, tonight… tonight he would be able to see Sirius again. Even if only for a few minutes before Moony took over and the last vestiges of humanity slipped behind the beast's clouded mind. He just wanted to say good-bye. Needed to at least have an opportunity…

The Blue Moon was imminent, its pull drawing Remus down to the ground, a mournful howl escaping his still-human lips. He would swallow back the beast… he would fight against the moon's consternation just long enough to see his beloved emerge from the dais. His body fought his mind as it writhed and rippled around him. The claws pushing against his fingertips, the skin breaking to let them through and still Remus fought against it, his eyes fixed on the billowing veil. A shimmer of light, a sliver of luminescence sliced through the black shroud and Remus' bones broke as his human legs reshaped into the wolf's hind legs. He scratched at the stone floor, the contrast in pain helping to keep his mind in this place. In this human form, just a little longer. He would slip through any minute now and Remus needed this. Remus wanted this. A piercing howl-turned-scream resonated in the large auditorium as an arm emerged through the veil.

_He had time, damn it. He had time!_ Remus willed his body to behave. He was now stuck between forms. His claws and hind legs were those of the wolf, the rest of him… the rest of him was human. He would remain human long enough… he had to hold on. The moon's pull was growing, however and his body would give in and tear him apart in the process. He blinked back tears, grimaced as his internal organs reshaped themselves, his spine lengthening into the lupine tail he needed for balance. The light behind the veil grew to an almost blinding glow that threatened to throw the half-formed wolf across the room, but Remus dug his claws into the grout between stones on the floor and prayed for time. _Just a few seconds more._

The blast from the veil sent Remus toppling backward and his beast erupted from his being like a hellhound. Moony's long snout, thick golden fur and sharp claws burst forth almost simultaneously. His eyes had to adjust to their surroundings, the world shifted from colour to grey, the focus sharp and penetrating. The wolf sniffed the air to confirm what his eyes were seeing. Standing before the veil was a man… a man with a familiar scent… a man with a canine scent. With a loud howl, he charged toward his prey and scrabbled backward as the man suddenly shifted and before his senses could accept the change, Moony's mate stood there, head bowed, tail waggling in the air in welcome.

Moony held his ground, aware the image before him was alien… sniffing the air again, he found his surroundings foreign as well. He should know this place, should know the canine approaching him warily, but his lupine mind was struggling with the sudden change. Had there not been a man standing before him earlier?

The large dog approached and rubbed his flank against him. Scenting him before lapping at his snout and Moony recognised him. He felt the familiar shimmer of his magic enveloping them both, re-establishing the bond they'd shared long ago. Rubbing against his mate, gently biting down on the scruff at the back of his neck, and down the dog's spine toward the tail, Moony claimed him once more. They ran around the auditorium chasing each other and toppling one another down the coliseum-style seating in the large room for hours. With each wrestle move, Moony bit and lapped at Padfoot's body as if to be absolutely certain that he was there.

As the moon descended in the sky, Remus' mind slowly emerged… around the edges at first, as images of a man would run through it before being replaced by scent memories of a forest… a canine… a stag… a small rodent nearby. Moony grew tired as the full moon waned and the sun's rays broke through the light of the night. Remus pushed through the lupine mind as if emerging from underwater, he needed to transform before Sirius was gone. Needed to speak the words of the bond before the veil swallowed his beloved again. Pushing against the need to sleep, the almost deathlike grip on his mind to shut down, to calm itself and numb all of his senses enough to transform back to human form, Remus threw himself against the wolf shape and broke through the murky lupine haze. Panting for breath, his legs burning with the instantaneous transformation, Remus found himself staring at human toes… his human toes facing another pair of toes.

His gaze slowly panned up the bare feet to the bare legs, leading up bare knees, bare thighs…

"Hiya Moony," the gruff voice said and Remus nearly fell to the floor with the tidal wave of emotions swirling around him.

"You're here," Remus whispered his throat as tight as his chest. "I have to tell you," he gasped for breath, taking a step toward Sirius.

"S'okay mate. Just take a breath, take your time," Sirius replied reaching for him and wrapping those long arms around him. He still fit perfectly against him, Remus thought; their bodies were still in perfect synchronicity and when he gripped that face and pulled Sirius' lips to his own, Remus' tears mingled in their kiss.

The kiss deepened as years of longing, yearning for the chance to have Sirius with him again were poured into their connection. Remus could feel Sirius' body against him, could feel the muscles beneath the lightly furred body and he explored him with hands, lips, tongue and teeth. Sliding his hands down Sirius' spine, he gripped the firm backside and rubbed his now growing erection against Sirius'. His lover's body reacted instantly to that touch, filling the flaccid shaft.

Remus reveled in their kiss. He could almost taste their magic surging through them reuniting them, reaffirming their bond as their hands roamed all over their bodies until they were panting, foreheads touching, bodies entwined so perfectly, it was difficult to tell where one man ended and the other began.

"Perhaps, we should conjure a bed?" Sirius panted, his voice hoarse and deep.

"Warded," Remus gasped. "This chamber… is heavily warded. Even Apparition is impossible."

"Then how…?" Sirius asked nodding toward the dais.

"Not a spell," Remus replied, kissing Sirius again, "but you're right. We need a bed." He squeezed Sirius' backside before extricating himself from the warmth of Sirius' naked body. "Can you transform?"

"Moony, I know I've been gone a long time, but I never took you for the sort to be into bestiality," Sirius quipped.

After giving his lover a pointed look, the hastily dressed lycanthrope and his canine companion stepped out of the cavernous room and quietly made their way toward the lifts. They would need to Floo home as Remus was in no condition to Apparate and he wagered Sirius, after being… gone, Remus could still not bring himself to claim Sirius had died, would not have the strength for Apparition either. Stepping into a large Floo fireplace, with Padfoot at his heels, they stumbled into Sirius' London flat.

Sirius transformed as he shook off the soot from his fur and stood perfectly naked inside his sitting room. "Home," he breathed then turned with a mischievous grin toward Remus. "Our bed?"

"I'd offer to race you upstairs, but I'm afraid I may have overdone it this moon," Remus groaned, feeling the strain from his explosive transformation bearing heavily on his body. He ached for Sirius, but his body needed time to heal and with every withered step, he was reminded of muscles he would likely forget the following day.

Remus let Sirius lead him upstairs and when he felt the warm body pressed tightly against him, he sighed happily.

"Moony?" Sirius asked, his fingers ghosting over Remus' side.

"Yes?"

"You said it wasn't magic," Sirius whispered. "Back there, in the room with the veil… what was it then?"

Remus turned in the circle of Sirius' arms, their noses touching and kissed him tenderly. "Love," he moaned into Sirius' mouth as sleep claimed him.

_A bond forged in life that death cannot destroy_, Sirius thought wrapping his arms around Remus, "not even death can do us part."


End file.
